Maybe you have a close set of girlfriends and you without a doubt know who your bridesmaids will be, or maybe you have a large family, tons of friends and sorority sisters who don’t know how to narrow it down to just a handful of attendants. We can’t make the decision for you, but we can give you some etiquette guideline to consider when making your decision.

Family is not a requirement: If you’re closer to your friends than your siblings, it’s not inappropriate to not include them. Just be mindful that this might lead to some family tension.

The sky’s the limit: You can have as many or as few attendants as you want or even none at all. The size of the wedding isn’t a factor either, but you may reconsider having 20 attendants at a 50 person wedding. You also don’t have to have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Consider finances: Being a bridesmaid or groomsman comes with some financial obligations. Make sure the people you choose can meet those commitments. If a close friend is not in the financial space to be involved as an attendant, you can look for other roles like a hostess or reader for them still to be involved.

It takes two: If you’re having a hard time choosing a maid of honor or a best man, it’s okay to have two. If one of them is married, you can call them the Matron of Honor.

Save the drama: Just because their your friends doesn’t mean they will be friends with each other, but it might be a good idea to give a second thought to a friend with an off-putting personality that doesn’t play well with others.

Dependability is key: There’s a lot of moving parts to the wedding planning process. You’ll need friends that you can depend on – no questions asked. Focus on choosing friends who show up (on time!), are organized and have great communication.

Baby bumps are allowed: It’s fine to ask a pregnant friend to be your the wedding, just be considerate of them on the wedding day and in their participation in activities like the bachelorette party.

The most important trends you see in all of these guidelines is it’s really about what YOU want. Go with your gut, and what feels right. If you’re questioning putting someone in your wedding, there’s probably a reason and there’s no etiquette rule against that.

Ask us your bridesmaids questions below?