We’re going to give people the benefit of the doubt that they mean well, and curiosity just gets the best of them. Still, this doesn’t make you feel any less uncomfortable when someone asks a personal or even rude question. Often, you can get away with not even dignifying the intrusiveness with a response. But, just in case you’re in a situation that you can’t, we’ve prepared some courteous and classy clapbacks to some common nosy and rude questions.
As a reminder, it’s not only what you say, it’s how you say it. Depending on how close you are with a person, some of these questions you might feel comfortable addressing. If you don’t, you are completely within your right. Try to remain calm, straight to the point, and polite. Rise above the negativity and handle the situation with poise.
How much money did you spend on your house?
“We paid the market rate for homes in our area. We do have a good realtor that can help you find a home in your price range. I’m happy to recommend him/her.”
If they persist….
“I actually don’t discuss money with anyone outside of my (partner, parents, etc.)”
Change the subject immediately after your response.
Why don’t you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
“I’m still looking for the right person. When I find them you’ll know.”
This response only works if you actually are looking for someone. Contrary to popular belief, some women and men actually enjoy being single. Crazy, right?
When will you have kids?
“We’re really happy with our family of two.”
Kids can be a touchy subject. You might want them in the future, you might not be sure, or you might even be unfortunately having issues conceiving. Whatever your situation, this response is simple and to the point and doesn’t delve into the complexities of parenthood, which is frankly no one’s business but you are your partners.
Did you gain weight?
“That’s so nice of you to say. How are you doing?”
This response makes it clear that the question was rude. Next subject.
When are y’all going to get married?
“When we’re ready.”
Don’t fall into the trap of blaming this on your boyfriend or girlfriend. Keep a united front. This skill set will be extremely important in your marriage (if you all choose to take that step).
Is that your real hair?
“I’m glad you like my hair, but I’m not sure you realize that question is incredibly rude.”
Let’s call a spade a spade. This question is rude and there’s no need to address it if you don’t want to speak on it.
How much are you making now?
“I make enough to pay my bills and enjoy myself. What about you, are you happy with your salary?”
Deflection is key here, and even if they share their salary you don’t have to feel obligated to respond with yours.
Are you sure you can afford that?
‘Thanks for your concern, but I’ve got it.”
Let’s assume the person means well and is just looking out for your best interest.
What are some other nosy questions you need help responding to?