AHHH!!! Congratulations you’re planning your wedding!! Wedding planning can be a mix of excitement and pure madness all in one. After you set your budget, you’ll quickly discover you have to figure out your guest count to make a lot of other major decisions, including venue, menu, etc. Choosing who to invite and who to leave off the list can be a very challenging and sensitive topic, but unless you have an unlimited budget or unlimited capacity at your venue, unfortunately, everyone can’t be invited.

In a traditional wedding, where the bride’s family hosts, guest list were divided equally between the bride and groom’s families and friends. But as we know, the modern wedding isn’t always hosted by the bride’s family. Therefore, this split can be completely up to you. Your guest list should accommodate your budget, your venue and the level of intimacy you desire on your big day.

Here’s who you need to add to your guest list.

The non-negotiables: These are your closest family members and friends who you couldn’t imagine your wedding day without. Think about the first people you called when you got engaged or the people who have been there for your the most during your relationship.

Family: Your parents can help with this area of the list. These are your family members who you might not be as close with, but you would want to extend an invitation. If you have a large family, you might not be able to include everyone. Try to think about may just aunts and uncles or just first cousins if you need to trim your list.

Friends: This is probably one of the toughest categories to narrow down. This can be anyone from childhood friends to new friends. There’s no easy rule of thumb here, and friendship dynamics change all the time. How did we decide?. Think about your relationship with your friends in the past 12 months. If you haven’t engaged with them in over a year, give them a second thought for inclusion on the guest list.

Acquaintances: These can be anything from work friends, social media friends and your parent’s friends and business associates. You shouldn’t feel obligated to send an invitation to people in this group, especially if your budget is getting tight, but keep in mind if your parents are hosting the wedding they might want to add a few additional folks from this area.

Plus Ones: If a guest is married or in a serious relationship they should be included on the invitation even if you’ve never met them. However, you don’t have to feel obligated to include plus ones for a single guest.

Children: It’ is completely up to your discretion whether or not to invite children to the wedding. However, any children participating in the wedding as the ring bearer or flower girl should also be invited to the reception along with their parents.

Some people also choose to have a standby list of those they want to invite if conditions change (i.e more RSVP regrets than expected). This list should be kept extremely private as not to offend anyone on the list. Also, guests on this list should still receive invitations relatively close in time to the initial invitation distribution.

What guest list questions can we answer?